Farewell, Holly Rose: Her Funeral

Friday 19th January. Her funeral has been and gone. It was a lovely day, and I am proud to share it with you, for those who wanted to attend and weren't able to.

When Holly Rose first passed away, we initially thought we would content ourselves with a small, perfunctory service, just myself and my partner. Because she was born alive, and lived for a short time, it became our legal responsibility to arrange a burial or cremation, and along with that, we came to realise that perhaps a service for her would, in time, become something we could look upon with gratitude. I am so relieved that she had a proper funeral. I poured my heart and soul into her service, with a lot of personal, handmade touches, and in the end, I would not have wanted it any other way. I like to think we did her proud.

We printed the order of service for guests ourselves (admittedly, after a certain amount of swearing at the reluctance of our irritating printer). Sweet and simple. And I will share the contents below.

Holly didn't arrive at the funeral in a hearse, as I felt it was too formal, so she came in the funeral director's car. The service began with "Holly's Carol,"* which played while I carried her casket up the aisle, myself, accompanied by her Daddy.

Holly's Carol is known as "The Sans Day Carol," which is a traditional Cornish carol. I sang it every day throughout advent at Rowan's school, during the run-up to Holly's birth. It isn't a carol I knew prior to singing it daily with Rowan at his school, and because of the relevance of the lyrics, I wanted to play it at her funeral. I couldn't find a version I liked, so this version was arranged and recorded specially for her, with musical arrangement and instrumental backing by Michael Lovelock. Lead vocals by myself, with mixing by my sister, Jill Priest. Also featuring some backing vocals provided by Holly's auntie Jolly, and her big brother, Rowan - aged six.

Our former pastor, Jeannie Benger, from Chesterfield's Ikon Church then spoke a lovely sermon (although I confess I remember very little of it, due to adrenaline kicking in). However, we really appreciate your words, Jeannie. xxx

The next song was "The Rose," sung by myself and recorded by our very dear friend, Rod Munro, on the day I met him some years ago. This rough, one-take recording was played to Holly Rose during the brief time she was alive.*

This was followed by Jeannie reading Psalm 139, Verse 1 - 18 "For the Director of Music."

1 You have searched me, Lord,

    and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;

    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;

    you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue

    you, Lord, know it completely.

5 You hem me in behind and before,

    and you lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

    too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?

    Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,

    your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

    and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;

    the night will shine like the day,

    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!

    How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,

    they would outnumber the grains of sand—

    when I awake, I am still with you.

Followed by a short extract from a children's book (frequently read to her brother),
"No Matter What," by Debi Gliori:

"Look at the stars - how they shine and glow,

but some of those stars died a long time ago.

Still they shine in the evening skies

Love, like starlight, never dies."

The final song was my version of "Baby Mine," with some re-written lyrics by myself. This was recorded some time ago, and I will always be grateful that I had the foresight to play this song and "The Rose" for Holly while she was with us.*



The curtain then came around Holly's little casket, and the tributes that we had arranged for her. She spent most of her existence on the stage with me (while I travelled the UK in a musical theatre tour while pregnant), so it seemed only fitting that her service ended with "the final curtain."

It was a short, but beautiful service, with almost everything hand-made by ourselves, from the printed order of service, to the flower arrangements. It was also far better attended than I had ever hoped for, and I hope those of you who were not able to attend will appreciate being able to share the moment retrospectively, via these photos and links.

Holly's floral tribute (the vase with the white roses) was arranged by me (although I did have a brief panic on the morning of her funeral, when I realised I am really not very skilled at floral arrangements!). It features branches from our Christmas tree (which I had preserved for the purpose), white roses, olive branches, holly from our garden, and rose hips. I also included some dainty fairy lights, because she was born so close to Christmas, and a bauble for the same reason.

She also had a holly wreath for her casket (this went with her), which was made by my Mum before Christmas, who also made the bouquet of red roses and holly.

Rowan, her big brother, wasn't at the service as he had already said his goodbyes in person. I felt that at his age, he would be restless and distracting if he was there, but he did meet everyone afterwards and contributed in his own way to Holly's various tributes.

On the back of the order of service, is a poem taken from another children's book, "On The Night You Were Born" by Nancy Tillman. I bought the book in time to take it with us to her service:

On the night you were born,

The moon smiled with such wonder

That the stars peeked in to see you

And the night wind whispered,

“Life will never be the same.”

Because there had never been anyone like you… ever in the world.

So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain

That they whispered the sound of your wonderful name.

It sailed through the farmland

High on the breeze…

Over the ocean…

And through the trees…

Until everyone heard it

And everyone knew

Of the one and only ever you.

I am also including here, the final two pages from the book:

For never before in story or rhyme

(not even once upon a time)

has the world ever known a you, my friend,

and it never will, not ever again...

Heaven blew every trumpet

and played every horn

on the wonderful, marvelous

night you were born.

Various floral tributes and mementos, including Holly's footprints, her blankets, the outfit she wore (formerly her brother's) in hospital, and her little hat. The teddy is one of two given to us when we left the hospital; the other one went with her and you can read about other items that stayed with her in a previous blog entry.

I'm also going to include Holly's charity links again in this blog post, for anyone who may still wish to donate. However, please don't feel any obligation. We are moved beyond belief by those who attended, and will never forget the kindness of all those who have supported us, in various ways. Her funeral was beautiful.

Thank you.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/rosanne-priest
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/babyhollyrose

*If I could, I would have given you the world, my love. 
In the end, the only gift I could grant you was the gift of song...
I can only hope you heard.

All my love,
Mummy.
xxx