Saturday, 24 February 2018

A significantly insignificant date

Saturday 24th February 2018. Today is my due date. The last official date connected with my daughter's existence. After today, all dates will be anniversaries: in days, weeks, months, or years, everything will be a marker of how much time has passed; she will only exist in the past tense. No more should-have-beens. She was. And she is no more. She is gone. It's final.

I wrote, and re-wrote an epic, wordy blog-post explaining the significance of today. But no words do her, or my feelings, justice. Suffice to say that in spite of myself, I have struggled in the run up to this date, it is impossible not to think about what should have been. And I wanted to commemorate the occasion in some way, I couldn't let it pass unmarked, forgotten.

So, I'd like to share her photo book, that I put together in time to mark today - her due date. I create a photo annual every year for her brother, and I wanted to make one for her, too. I'm going to let it speak for itself. She was (if I do say so myself) devastatingly beautiful... My God, she was beautiful... And yes, I am proud.

Before clicking the link, I'm going to add a "trigger warning." Not because the individual photos are disturbing (in my opinion), but because I can't deny, it is heartbreakingly sad, and therefore may be distressing.

Clicking the above text should take you to a virtual online version of her book*. It will only work on a PC with flash installed. If it doesn't work, or if you're on a mobile phone or tablet, then try the following link instead which will take you to an album of screensaves of the pages of her book.

Holly Rose photo album

Photos are mostly by myself, with some by Holly's Daddy, and some of the black and white ones taken by Remember My Baby. A few are mobile phone photos, because we didn't go to the hospital expecting her to be born, and so didn't have cameras with us, initially.

*I never pay full price for these photo books, I always wait for the right offer to come along in order to print them!


  1. Thank you for sharing photos of your beautiful girl. I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago and her due date is coming up very soon. It's comforting to read your words at this time. I'm finding your blog so helpful. I wish you much joy and love as you remember her short beautiful life on this day..

  2. She is absolutely beautiful. You were on my birth board. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you and your family are going through. Sending you lots of love.